Blog by Claire Taylor-Haigh
At what age did you start to think about yourself first?
If you take a moment to think back on how many people you help before you even think about yourself, I doubt you’ll be surprised to see you came pretty low on the list. Why is that I wonder?
I had a catholic education, so from an early age I was taught that my role – as a woman – was going to be to cook the best I could, to ensure I could make and mend clothing, keep a good house and be the best wife and mother I could possibly be. On the whole it was a good education BUT!!
Fast forward 40ish years and I have 2 children of my own and 2 step children. We have 8 grandchildren. I own my own home. I had to quit the job I love due to undue stress put upon me. Shortly after that I had a heart attack as a result of that stress. It was then I realised that – in some respects- my life had become that taught role and I had somehow lost ME! Not feeling content or satisfied with so many things, so I started to search for ‘IT’. Not really sure what ‘it’ was or if there even was an ‘it’!
I did know that: -
I could cook but had started to find it really boring
I could stitch and mend and LOVED creating things with material (thanks Sister Teresa)
I’m loving being a wife (second time around)
I’d tried really hard to be a perfect mother but realised there’s no such thing!
So, I thought I’d learn to crochet and knit – only to discover my brain just couldn’t grasp the concept and those sticks were more likely to become weapons I’d use to vent my frustration
I tried a variety of different exercise regimes - only to realise I still didn’t enjoy any of it (I lay the blame squarely at the feet of having to do cross country running – no matter the weather- during my school days)
Then whilst sitting on my husband’s allotment one weekend I realised when I was there, I felt calm, happy and at peace.
ALL THIS TIME THE ANSWER HAD BEEN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!
It didn’t take long before I got my own allotment – albeit one that nobody else wanted due to the overwhelming number of established brambles – but by having them ensured I had to work out and build up a sweat (it’s not exercise though ok lol) I looked forward to being on the allotment and would be there for hours and hours each time. Friends started to say I looked ‘brighter’ and seemed ‘happier’. My bestie was so impressed that she came down to see what it was all about? And the first time she came, she too became totally immersed in the bramble battle challenge and the amazing sense of calm she felt afterward.
During one of our many tea breaks, we were talking about the benefits we’d felt since taking the allotment on and both felt grateful to have the space – and each other – to escape to.
We wondered how many women don’t have this? How many would like this? The only way to find out was to see if anyone would be interested in joining us? And it didn’t take long before we realised the answer was yes.
Right! next stage we needed to turn this into something official. I gathered a group of women I knew would be perfect as Trustees. Set up a Facebook page and built our first ever website, something we realised was really difficult but together we got there in the end.
SO! on the 8th March 2021 we’ll be celebrating the 3rd birthday of Women Like Me.
Women Like Me exists to help women's confidence grow and to develop their positive wellbeing to help prevent mental health decline. We’re all about positivity and building a network of women to support themselves and each other in a multitude of ways.
We run weekly wellbeing workouts on each of our 3 allotments – known as A Place to Be - and whilst this has changed to 1-2-1 support for the past 9 months, it does mean women have still been able to access our service during the pandemic. A ‘life saver’ one woman has told us. And as the open spaces are so large it also means we’ll be able to go back to group sessions once guidance allows.
Our other project is called Garden Angels- where women volunteer some of their time to go into others gardens to clear and tidy them, to enable people to gain the positive benefits from being able to be in their outside spaces. We have also undertaken work in a care home courtyard, two additional needs schools and even the green space in a car-park.
I guess you’re picturing a group of professional gardeners, with years of combined knowledge and experience NOPE!! Several members of the present GA team are made up of a woman with extreme confidence issues, a local business woman, a recovering alcoholic and a survivor of domestic abuse. And none had any gardening experience.
It’s not about gardening, it’s about being in a safe space with other women and being able to just be yourself. Our projects are all about learning and growing together. Oh! and laughing – a lot.
With our strapline being - ‘Together we can Learn Laugh & Grow’ – we simply bring women from all walks of life together with one purpose in mind, to have a chance to simply be yourself and consider your needs first.
We have established good relationships with many organisations that regularly signpost their clients to us and I give talks and presentations on our story, in the hope it shows more women how essential it is to take time out to just be ME.
Plans for the future: -
Organise and run art sessions for women effected by cancer.
Run craft sessions for women to create whatever they wish.
Construct individual growing beds on each allotment for women who are unable to attend wellbeing workout sessions due to working during the time they’re held.
Establish more allotments in areas where women want them and set up satellite Garden Angel teams, so women can come together to help others in their local communities.
www.women-like-me.co.uk - www.facebook.com/womenlikemeandyou